My Mother...

This is my family, yes, I'm the stone-faced one, second from the left. My father passed away 16 years ago. On Tuesday amid fireworks and celebration for the 24th of July my mother slipped to the other side to join him. So now there are two. But that count is a little off. Mom was grandmother to 11 and great-grandmother to nearly 11 more, Luke is due in August.
Words become incredibly inefficient at portraying feelings at a difficult time such as this. She suffered much in the last months of her life. She was forced to do many hard things. She had to endure the confining space of an MRI machine, drink barium on more than one occassion, have a port placed for chemo therapy and be strapped down, pinned to a board like a butterfly to endure radiation treatments. And not once did she complain. She did what I have seen her do everyday of her life; she "pulled on her big girl panties" and she did what she had to do.
Living is hard work and so is that of dying. Having these last months with her were bitter-sweet.  If there is a blessing of a terminal illness than it is that you are granted time with a purpose. The questions you ask are more tender and the answers more profound. For the last 5 months I have been her companion, her cheerleader, her soccer mom (for all the driving her and there), her advocate and her care giver. I will miss her.

A celebration of her life will be held Sunday July29th from 6-8 p.m. at Myer's in Ogden. Her funeral is 10 a.m. at 720 Nancy Drive Monday morning. She will be laid to rest next to her eternal companion in the Baggs Cemetary.

When a plan just can't come together...

So you may remember, I took up crocheting again not long ago. I produced a cute little hat that looks like a koala bear and had envisioned plenty of baby photography using it as a prop.

Creating a keepsake for the newborn's mother to share with her child as he grew into adulthood. Something that would inspire that "ahhh" comment. Instead, this is what I got....

Evidently my personal plan did not coincide with the plan of this 10 day old infant. Who knew that the "ahhh" I was hoping to capture would really resemble something more like "WAHHHHHHHH!!!"? Too funny huh? So it got me reflecting on how often what I plan actually turns out the way I thought it would. The statistics in my favor are extremely low. So what do you do? You learn to smile and go with the flow. And when plan A isn't working you capture plan B.

Thomas Edison said," I did not fail to make a lightbulb 10,000 times. I found 10,000 ways that didn't work as a lightbulb." So he buckled down and kept inventing until he found the one that it would work. And aren't we all greatful for a little "light"?