Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Being the "Matriarch"

As I consider the ebb and flow of my life, I watch some tides roll in and others roll out. My mother's mother's extended family participate in a family newsletter twice a year. I was pulled down the rabbit hole and started contributing a number of years ago because my grandmother was queen of the guilt.
She has been gone for more than 3 years now and I still feel some connection to my second and third cousin and sometimes the genealogy is just to convoluted to make the family connection. Just suffice it to say that I share news of my family with people in most states of the U.S. as well as some other continents. Somewhere along the line we share a common ancestor.
This is a picture taken of my mother and my youngest daughter on the day of my middle daughter's wedding. Mom has been gone for more than a year now. Not a week goes by that one of my daughter's doesn't mention how much they miss their grandmother. I miss her too. With her passing she left a vacancy in our family. She was the matriarch, our go-to person with all the wisdom, experience and answers. She anchored the family traditions and gave me a sense of permanence. If I could just talk it over with mom we could find the answer. My response from her cousin to the most recent family newsletter made me realize that I should be the anchor now. Her brothers and sisters aren't quite sure what to do with me now that she is gone. I'm an adult child that is now motherless and they make attempts to somehow plug that hole but my relationship with my mother was forged in the fires of experience. Some good, some not so good but all of them contributed to the relationship we had. It feels funny to realize that she has now passed the baton to me and I must be the one that has the wisdom, experience and answers and the future of family traditions is under my direction. I wonder if my mom really had all the answers or if she was faking them the way I'm sure I will have to. Fortunately, I have smart, strong-willed, independent daughters that are pretty good at finding the answers they need. And even more fortunate for me is that they still include me.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Cleaning house and removing cobwebs

REALLY?!? I missed blogging in the whole month of September? How is that even possible? Especially since August wasn't that great either. It's gotten a little dusty here at my blogspot. My life really got in the way of my writing, it's part of the ebb and flow of priorities. October is the challenge month when you are supposed to renew your enthusiasm for writing and post every day. My life however is just one big deviation with so little that stays constant from day to day.
Why did I miss all of September and most of August. In a word? Emily.
Emily had her heart stolen so she married the man of her dreams August 31. I couldn't post in August because I was preparing my backyard for a reception and I couldn't post in September because I was recovering from having a reception in my backyard. As with any family event we had the usual dramas and chaos and most times our organization plan resembled "herding cats".
But the day turned out beautiful, the bride wore the dress that made her feel like a princess and we all oohed and awwed at the appropriate times. 
 We are very happy to have another son in our family and we welcome DJ with our whole hearts. As I post they have already celebrated one month of wedded bliss.
Since my last remaining unwed child is only 13, I should have sufficient time to recover before the next family wedding.