Thursday, September 15, 2011

For New Moms

As part of writing prompts, I will try to impart some wisdom about being a mother. As with all unsolicited advice, it's worth what you paid for it.
1) Your children will almost NEVER look this good. This happens only on picture day and it is a brief shining moment to be cherished. Can't get her to smile? Go with it. She's not screaming and her hair is combed. Lower your perfection standards before you make yourself and your children crazy.
2) Toddlers ar NOT terminal. This phase will end. They will grow out of whatever is making you the most insane this week into something else next week. As a side note, having raised teenagers and toddlers at the same time, here are some things they share. Toddlers and Teenagers believe that the sun rises and sets on them. It's all about them and everything is the end of the world. They want what they want when they want it and they fully expect you to deliver it. And last, almost everything can be fixed with food or a nap.
3) Boys and girls are different, and not just because of their plumbing. A girl will climb up the furniture and then climb down. A boy will climb up the furniture and then jump off.

4) You don't make all of the mistakes with your first child. You usually spread them out amongst all your offspring, so they can all tell you..."you are the meanest mom, EVER!"
5) Don't let little things be a big deal. Just face the facts, if you have small children in your home, you should not have nice things. They will break them, smash them, hide them, eat them, you get the picture. Embrace the fact that they will use markers on the wall. Instead of losing it, and insanely scrubbing the wall with WD-40 (yes it removes it), pretend you are an art critic and tell them to add more purple.
6)To all of you peace loving moms out there. I applaud your decision not to give your sons weapons of mass destruction. Take a firm stand and don't allow any play guns into your home. But don't come crying to me when your toddler son has appropriated his sisters barbie and when cocking her leg he makes her head pop off as the bullet. My only advice? Find the boy a stick.
7)Laughing is always better than crying.

8) If you start young enough, they will think washing the dishes and vacuuming are fun. You have to make it look fun first. Just like Tom Sawyer when he was "whitewashing" the fence.
9) Count on their father to share some of the "joy". After all he is responsible for getting you into this mess.
10) Make time for some "me" time. That is not a euphenism about time with just you and your child. This is time that is all about you and you alone. Do a little shopping therapy. See a chick flick with a friend. Get a massage. A happy, relaxed mother has more to give to her family.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Back to school

Labor Day can be felt around the country. It's the day that every child groans because summer has officially ended. It's also the day that every mother sighs because her children are back in school. One of the rites of being back in school is school pictures. Every mother everywhere cringes. It's that one size fits all, with no control over what happens to the hair once you send it to school on the head of your child. It's so notoriously bad that "re-takes" are scheduled before the first photo is taken. Now if you like gambling on the 50 50 chance that you will get something back that both and you and your child alike can agree is good, read no further. If you think all backgrounds should be the same, again I have no solution for you. If your child really doesn't have a personality to highlight and a one shot deal is the best you can hope for. Again, you should be done reading. However, if you want some creative control on what your child is wearing, how their hair looks and what kind of background you want in your pictures then continue to read. And if you want the added option of 2 outfits, one that appeals to your child and one that conversely appeals to you then this is your opportunity.
I have selected 2 days for my Back to School picture Special. This is a great deal for families. As always, you will receive a CD of images and a copyright release so you can print your own portrait packages wherever you choose. I think 1 8x10, 2 5x7's and 8 wallets costs about $3.00 at costco and $10.00 at walmart. The first sibling in your family has a sitting fee of $30.00 and each additional sibling is only $10.00. The entire family will be downloaded to one CD. You will get more than one view, no need for retakes and also have the opportunity to have your children photographed together in a group. 

This year I will be taking "school photos" on Saturday September 24 and Thursday September 29. The Saturday location will be Lomond View Nursery and Gardens in Pleasant View. Detailed instructions will be available when you book.

All children, whatever age in your family are welcome to participate. You are welcome to bring props, dress them in their halloween costume for one of the pictures, whatever. I usually can shoot 3-4 children with clothing changes in about 45 minutes so it won't take alot of time away from your day.

More questions can be answered when you call 801-737-1303 to book your back to school pictures. Now it may be possible that I have picked your two worse days in the history of school starting. Have no fear. I will honor this offer from Sept. 15- Oct. 15. I only ask that if you choose an "off" day that you invite your friend, co-worker, sister, neighbor to book on that day as well. Thanks, now let's get booking.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Adventures at sea is available for viewing...

I have new appreciation for the internet. For nearly one week I had a de-funct modem and thus no access. I don't have a smart phone either so I really felt cut off from the world at large. It felt like I was experiance my very own dark age. But good news!!! the modem has been replaced and I can once again post and surf the net.
Today, I updated the page titled "adventures at sea". It's a one page synopsis of my service mission aboard the U.S.N.S. Comfort. You can also review all 28 days by checking out the archived blog posts between May 2011 and June 2011. Thanks for all of your views. I will get back into posting soon.