Saturday, July 28, 2012
Words become incredibly inefficient at portraying feelings at a difficult time such as this. She suffered much in the last months of her life. She was forced to do many hard things. She had to endure the confining space of an MRI machine, drink barium on more than one occassion, have a port placed for chemo therapy and be strapped down, pinned to a board like a butterfly to endure radiation treatments. And not once did she complain. She did what I have seen her do everyday of her life; she "pulled on her big girl panties" and she did what she had to do.
Living is hard work and so is that of dying. Having these last months with her were bitter-sweet. If there is a blessing of a terminal illness than it is that you are granted time with a purpose. The questions you ask are more tender and the answers more profound. For the last 5 months I have been her companion, her cheerleader, her soccer mom (for all the driving her and there), her advocate and her care giver. I will miss her.